Top 5 Players to Watch This Off Season (Off-Field)

As the offseason kicks off, anticipation is high among fans and experts alike as they eagerly await the next season. One aspect that excites everyone is the player movement during this period, movement between venues. New banter can completely transform teams and impact their fortunes in the upcoming season. Here, we highlight the top five players (and officials) to watch this offseason, whose off-field programs prepare them for the bus trips, post match speeches and continuous mayhem that is guaranteed in 2024.

#5 Oliver Pound

After months of speculation and contract discussions, the Breakers re-signed experienced off-field hooker Oliver Pound, back to reclaim his title of Newports most valuable front rower. Known for his exceptional skills displayed at the Avalon bowling club between Friday 3pm and Sunday 3pm, Pounders has been training the house down during the European summer. Several teams are rumoured to be interested in acquiring him, making his decision to return to the Portress a key foundation for a successful off season.

Favourite Beer: A cold one Favourite Non Beer: Filk Favourite Off Season Day: Day at the Races with Grizza (if his tips are any good) Estimated Time To Return to Pre-Season: 2 weeks before Round 1

#4. Jed Cram

Cram's future as an "on-field" breaker remains unknown as he attempts his 4th retirement from rugby. This off-field Immortal has been around the traps, returning back to the Breakers from a stint at local league side The Avalon Bulldogs, where Cram didn't see a minute, but was a HUGE contributor to the off-field performance of a highly talented off-field lineup. Like most off-seasons, Cram is expected to be resting his voice, after he was heard all over Sydney once again in 2023, attending ongoing physio treatment for his vocal chords going into the Christmas break. 2022 Club Captain was seen recently speaking to major sponsors, negotiating his 2024 Breakers contract whilst ordering two VBs at Avalon RSL. Favourite Beer: VB

Favourite Non Beer: Vodka Cruiser Favourite Off Season Day: Hanging out by his Mrs pool Estimated Time To Return to Pre-Season: Round 6 # 3. Grizza Pound

Newport Rugby is again in discussions for the renewal of this man's contract! Recently taking home the President's award for his contribution to NRC in 2023, this man is top priority to retain for the upcoming season. Recently, it was made public that his real name is Michael, a surprise for all club members and spectators. Very unsure about how he will deflect the heckling for 2024, a key focus of his training this summer. Given his track record of success and ability to elevate the off-field play of those around him, Pound would instantly become the epicenter of attention in the offseason. Favourite Beer: VB

Favorite Non Beer: VB Favourite Off Season Day: Huddling around a TAB with his best mate Jimmy Allen. Estimated Time To Return To Pre-Season: He is down there now cleaning the BBQ

#2 Steve Hewitson (President)

Jetsetting President Mr Hewitson has been an awesome addition to the NRC this year, solving most of his challenges with off-field efforts. Hewitson was the new age Columbo with passport stamps across several continents, balancing his presidential duties perfectly with his volunteer/life balance. Hewitson is expected to be visiting his French Chateau for a intense 6 week training camp this off-season, expecting to improve his alcohovascular abilities by tenfold, returning to 2024 a new and improved performer. Pres was last seen blowing the budget at the Annual Blue and White Ball, hosted by the institution which is Newport Surf Club, showing that he was primed and ready for what could only be considered his "Prime Time" from November to March.

Favourite Beer: Something Crafty Favourite Non Beer: Rose from his Chateau Favourite Off Season Day: Seafood Long Long Long Long Long Lunch (probably with Jim and Griz)

Estimated Time To Return to Pre-Season: Never Stops #1 Duck Man The big man was missing at Porters in 2024, with the bar overflowing due to his absence. Cluch TV was upset that they weren't able to fill the air with continuous "Quacking" by the Newport faithful, viewership dropping considerably without The Duck's soothing voice and insightful commentary - 2024 is a Big Year For the Big Duck as he is said to be offered a "Honorary Westy Membership" to the beachside Breakers, something that hasn't been granted in the clubs proud history

Favourite Beer: Anything cold

Favourite Non Beer: 3000 Jim Beam and Cokes Favourite Off Season Day: Rehearsing old Ray Warren VHS recordings from Origin 05 Estimated Time To Return To PreSeason: Ball is in your court DUCK MAN! QUACK!

The offseason is set to be a scorcher as players aim to disappear from the WhatsApp groups, messenger chats and eye line of the coaches. The true beneficiary of the upcoming off season is the wives and girlfriends who get to enjoy a weekend without rugby interrupting, long enough for them to want them to be back at rugby in the new year. What a summer is set to be. Good luck to all of the Breakers in your quests!

Written By,

Notin Strait

The Breaker Bulletin